We emerge from our summer break to give you this breaking story.
Famous, nacho-eating Texan -- first place loser at Leadville -- is rumored to be mulling a run at the Chequamegon Fat Tire 40 this Saturday! But will he really do it, if the Wayzata Course Chief shows up again this year to ride with his unholy offspring?
Reasons Lance and/or Greg might show up in Hayward this year:
Pro: Trek is the Wisconsin-based title sponsor of the FT40, and owns a significant share of Lance Armstrong's dark soul.
Con: Trek has been the title sponsor since John McCain was middle-aged, and Lance has never showed up before. And Greg would love to see the company burn down, then get trampled by a herd of incontinent Guernseys, then get bombed from outerspace. Trek feels the same way about Greg.
Pro: Lance is in good shape, and just rode the Leadville 100.
Con: Lance may not be allowed to ride because he failed to select a Sunday Funday event.
Pro: Lance could race against former Tour sensation and three-time gunshot wound survivor Greg Lemond.
Con: Lemond and Armstrong like each other about as much as Obama and that Alaskan Lipstick Pig.
Pro: The FT40 is a race that Lemond has won that Armstrong has not won.
Con: Lance is still the greatest man to ever invent the bicycle. In France. No matter what. He'll do it again next year, so there.
Pro: The FT40 course notoriously favors roadies and luck, not strength and skills. It's easy!
Con: You're a sissy if you line up with more than one gear.
OK, we're going back into summer hibernation until after Chequamegon. I think.
An Amusement & Diversion for The Genteel Cyclist. Daily.