An Amusement & Diversion for The Genteel Cyclist. Daily.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The road rage of the cyclist


So I was casting some aspersions on Dallas yesterday, and today I hear that a Dallas cyclist is being investigated for a "road rage incident." The situation is one we all find ourselves in almost every day: A negligent cager on a cell phone fails to give adequate buffer to a group of cyclists riding legally on the roadway. In this case, Dallas cyclist caught up to the driver and rifled his water bottle at the driver.

This short video includes an interview of both characters, and I am struck by just one thought. This woman couldn't stop smoking for a 30-second television interview? Unreal. Lady, they make gum and patches that would allow you to speak uninterrupted by nicotine fits for up to 20-minutes! On the other hand, you could probably get one of those nostril hoses and a tank of second hand smoke, then you could smoke 24/7 and have full use of your hands.




Also this: It's a far better act of revenge to just reach in and empty your water bottle on the driver's lap. That way you get to keep your bottle, the assault charge won't stick, and she'll arrive at work looking like she urinated in her short-shorts.

That's a win-win-win!

(Full disclosure: In my less-enlightened road raging days, I once threw a water bottle at a carload of teenagers. But only after they'd thrown it at me. And it was empty. So it was more a gesture of rage than an actual act of rage. Still, I felt good-bad-guilty-justified for weeks afterward. It was a powerful feeling to scare the shit out of a bunch of lowlife dopesmokers, but not one I need to relive.)

5 comments:

Skibby said...

I broke a side mirror off of a car once, I"d do it again...

Ed W said...

In Oklahoma, it's a felony to throw an object at a motor vehicle. I think this resulted from an incident where a thrown object caused the death of a child, but I could be wrong. As far as I'm aware, however, cyclists do not enjoy similar protection.

So when that driver in the shiny new Lexus blares his horn at you, don't waste a full water bottle by throwing it at him. Instead, dump the contents over his car. If it's Gatorade, Oklahoma summer heat will evaporate the water in a couple of microseconds, leaving a sticky, gooey mess that will require a trip to the car wash.

Been there.

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