Despite the undead fad of hipster fixies, Chicago has 300 working bike messengers, and they make more than 1.5 million deliveries each year, presumably without brakes or gears or freewheels. Also, they blow about 2 million red lights.
Messengers admit to breaking traffic laws and riding aggressively—after all, the more runs they make, the more money they earn. They argue the importance of their mission justifies their derring-do at the handlebars.
"A lot of times it's very likely the messenger who just broke the traffic law you saw is delivering a document that directly affects your life," said Augie Montes, 34, co-owner of 4 Star Courier Collective and a bike messenger for eight years.
Ha. That's got to be a joke, right? Ha ha.
Why can't bike messengers ever talk straight? Just once, I'd like the truth to come out of their mouths. Breaking the law is fun and fast and you can't catch me.