Helmetlove Knucklerap 2007

Perhaps their heads are too big and the helmet industry should develop a whole Ivy League line of lids. No other way to explain why just two percent of Stanford undergraduates wear helmets.

Of course, we like to go helmetless now and again too, because it looks cool and it feels cool. But listen, folks: If 98 percent of all people aren't wearing helmets, you by definition are in the lame, uncool majority.

On the other hand, we suspect the grad students are predominantly helmet wearers, having survived their undergraduate years with one significant advantage: an effective brain preserver.