Abhorrent in the eyes of the Lord

Everyone knows how much I love my vintage Ciöcc. It's just cool, man, and it's red -- the fastest color -- with white and black lettering, and it has the sexiest fork evah. As I've mentioned in the past, some guys are obsessed with boobs, some are obsessed with butts, I'm obsessed with forks. I was tickled to find out years ago that Big Jonny, the world famous drunk cyclist, owns exactly the same bike. Cheers mate! And those straight-blade forks, by the way, are pubescent and perverse.

There are only three other paint scenarios that look as cool as my Ciöcc. (1) The old Bontrager Race Lite scheme: fire engine red with a white panel, silver and black stripes, black lettering; (2) the newish Masi Speciale: orange with a blue panel, white stripes, and white lettering -- the orange is really that Bridgestone XO-1 pumpkin color, a classic; and (3) the "Coleman Lantern Green" of Rivendell's QuickBeam doublespeed.

But so! The Ciöcc (yes, it's necessary to include that awesome rock 'n' roll umlaut, although it's not technically an umlaut, it's a dierisis). This Italian beauty was a gift from my good buddy Simpson, and it had always been a bike in heavy rotation -- it still is, being my only legitimate road bike, and my road mileage has been steadily increasing in recent years as a form of escapism in tough times, and also as a strategy to feel better about myself, feel less wrecked by marathon MTB events, to y'know furrow those capillary beds etc. etc. I got fired (I think¹) from my dream job in the Spring of 2006, and spent the next four months riding that bike constantly, until I literally wore out the 7-speed gear cluster. This was no mean feat, because it was an original Shimano 600 cluster with the deepest teeth you ever saw -- probably a quarter of an inch deep, tooth-to-groove. Simpson had geared the Ciöcc up with Shimano 600, front to back. You'll recall that 600 was the predecessor to Ultegra, and really Shimano's original shot-over-the-bow to Campagnolo, who up until the mid 1980s, was pretty much the only game in town for serious bike parts, at least as far as the drive-train and brakes were concerned. (Suntour, Sugino, Nitto, yes, yes, I know.) So Shimano was thundering over the Pacific Rim.

The gear all worked flawlessly, even after the extensive mileage both Simpson and I had put on it, with a few notable breakdowns, including one very misguided autumnal CX ride where I tore the derailler off and got to be kidney-pushed for about 5 miles by Simpson and Hareland.

So anyway, the point of all this is that last spring, it was brought to my attention that Fast Fred had a full vintage Campy group that he was willing to part with, and I jumped at the opportunity, and he very generously gave me the bro deal and the high five. It's always great to keep cool gear "in the family," and now I was riding Simpson's old bike with Fast Fred's old components and just generally feeling like hot shit on a silver platter. No longer was my roadbike this unholy marriage of Italian lugged steel with Japanese parts (along with Mavics -- a French wheelset, sacre bleu!)

It all came off a Raleigh Technium, which Fred donated along with the gruppo. "It has horizontal drops, so you can build it up as a fixie," he said. And the truth is, as much fun as I poke at Fixie Hipster Nation, it's a thought that I've kept percolating because frankly that's the one bike I don't have in the stable -- other than a 29er, which (given my bad attitude) is not a temptation. Hell, I even have a unicycle, though not one of those huge gay touring unis with the ridiculous little underseat handbars that make it look like you're always scratching your nuts.

So anyway, the question of the day is this: Raleigh Techniums, WTF? These frames are ubiquitous. They are the Peuogots and Gitanes of the 1980s. They are made out of aluminum that is glued together. They have very ugly Duran Duran paint schemes. They have internal cable routing.

I can't think of anything more perverted, and yet essentially innocuous, and I damn well might build that sucker up into some sort of transgressive scraper bike.



¹"I think" because I was actually a part owner of our business, and thus not really fireable by my partner, but being an idiot savant about these sorts of things, I never demanded nor received the proper paperwork, and find myself still wondering to this day what might turn out to be my "savant" facet. Maybe I'm just an idiot. Period.

Taking a hacksaw to the new carbon frame, under the watchful eye of the US Army

Measure twice, cut once. Or, y'know, measure once and cut twice @ about $4000 per cut.

Dude should cut those chops next. To each his own, I guess. Cute dog, though.

Never did like that integrated seatpost. What the heck do you do when fashion dictates a higher set-up, once today's fashionable "power" setup is debunked like cholesterol in butter?

China: Bike manufacturing and sales through the roof

You know, on a Tuesday afternoon, there's nothing we like more than kicking back with a cup of tea and curling up with the latest copy of China Machinery Daily.

Today, we read that despite all the gloomy global economic news, Chinese exports of bicycles increased almost 15 percent last year.

According to statistics by the General Administration of Customs, China exported 59.23 million units of bicycles in 2007, valued at US$ 2.17bn...In 2007, China exported 18.17 million bicycles to the USA, up by 1.1%, while the exports to Japan and the ASEAN countries increased by 7.4% and 5.3% respectively to 8.41 million and 5.32 million units. The said three markets together accounted for 53.9% of China's total bicycle exports.

Presumably, most of those frame-sets were equipped with Shimano parts. (Those that weren't? They were equipped with Dynacrap-brand parts.)

Once you factor in Taiwan manufacturing, that gives you a pretty good idea why people say that roughly 9 out of ten bikes come from Asia.

A weak dollar: Good for US bikes?

You were surely way too busy this weekend putting your studded tires on and getting your steel frames winterized to realize that the "Intlbike Conference" was going on in Shenzhen, China.

The buzz? Whereas China has been catching up to Taiwan as the world's largest producer of bikes, the weakness of the US dollar and the cost of petroleum-based distribution could cause the market for Asian bikes to flatten or decline.

That's good news for US bike-builders, probably -- because handmade local bikes may end up being cheaper than mass-produced Chinese rides. But the mid-range quality bikes will be hit hard: the Surlys of the world that are welded across the Pacific, and offered here at that delicate $1000 price point.

The difference between a $900 bike and a $1200 bike is far greater than between a $1200 and a $5000 bike, and it comes down to more than just wheelsets and drivetrains. It's a huge cognitive leap for bike buyers who are innocent in the ways of the world.

Fixies: The trend is officially over?

There is an old cliche that once the Sunday New York Times takes notice of any particular trend or fad, it is elevated to the level of "totally over and lame." I don't know if that's true, exactly. But if it is, then fixies may soon start showing up in garage sales right next to the waffle irons and the vinyl copies of "Brothers in Arms." But I've pledged to stop being a hater, after seeing yesterday's cool fixie video.

Anyway, what caught my eye in the Times' story was this innocuous passage:

The dangers of a small world getting bigger were vividly illustrated a few months ago when a hipster wearing square-frame glasses wandered into King Kog. The store, which sells fixed-gear bikes starting around $800 and going up to the thousands, also carries Jason Chaste’s Fortynine Sixteen clothing line, named for a gear ratio, and high-end parts like Sugino cranks, Izumi chains, and Dura-Ace and Ciocc frames.

Ciocc?! I believe that's the first time I've seen my beloved road bike's name enunciated in English. And that calls for some quickly slapped together then-and-now bike porn!

Then... (mid 80s)



(too bad the owner of this one appears to have tampered with the fork. Ciocc forks from this period are some of the most elegant ever built, and this looks like some carbon nonsense, with silly lines)


And now...


Still being made and sold in Olde Italia!


And let me just say that $800 for a fixie seems, to these innocent ears, like they're price gouging those Brooklyn hipsters. (Somebuddy hadda say it.)