Now THAT'S bike porn: Paris Hilton tearing up the Cali dirt

The only Paris Hilton we're interested in is a hotel in France, but still. Couldn't help but notice that the outlaw biker who goes by that name remains at large in Hollywood, and she rides an awesome Stumpjumper FSR.

Really, though, just three things you need to know about this cyclist that you can gleen without ever reading a word of the Enquirer, by just looking at this photo:

No helmet, granny gear, cellphone in hand.

Not sure where she found this dicey doubletrack in Hollywood, but judging from the destruction that normally follows in her wake, it could be anywhere along Sunset Boulevard.