Get paid to ride your bike and travel (to Madison)!

If you're like me, you fantasize about getting paid to ride a bike and travel. Not racing professionally, silly! Something much less taxing, that doesn't require body shaving and mysterious veterinarian-grade drugs. You know, like being Stevil Knievel.

Well, the folks over at Trek have been pestering me for months now to be one of their Travel Consultants, working in their bike tours division. I guess they can see how customer-oriented I am.

Problem is, it's just too tough to walk away from the mid-sevens I'm making here at Pinch Flat through that corporate RSS feed that you don't know about because you don't have the password.

But in the goodness of my heart, I thought I'd pass along the details that the headhunters at Trek are constantly dangling in front of my nose like a carrot rubbed with anchovies and a light mint chutney. Wanna cut straight to the salary? Your “Find a Way to Say Yes" Customer Service aptitude will earn you "$27,000 to $34,000 per year, depending on experience." Not too shabby.

Oh and this: You get a discount on Trek Travel products -- the ones you're selling and operating and for which you're chasing all over Hell's half acre trying to locate clean linens.

We offer competitive pay based on experience, a generously-subsidized health plan as well as premium discounts on Trek Bicycle products and Trek Travel trips.

This strikes me as rather like a lawyer getting a discount on his own firm's legal pads. You can't live on prestige, of course, but it does make a fine light snack.

Oh, and that part about getting paid to ride your bike? I meant getting paid to sit at a desk and talk on the phone all day.