Post-fixie Nation: Teach math, young man!

This year's world-champion female bike messenger, Jaimie Lusk, has decided to hang up the bike and the bag, and to teach math. We can't help but think this is a worthy trend for the nation's posengers to follow, and leave the working messengers alone to return to their impoverished anonymity.

We learned this in the fine print of this pretty awesome scene report from the bike-messenger haunts of Denver. Story reminded us that Denver is not entirely lame -- remember how the city on the wrong side of the mountains stars in a chapter of Jack Kerouac's On the Road? Somehow it's reassuring to know that the two-wheeled spirit of Dean Moriarity lives on in the Mile High city.

"And then one day, by the stroke of God, a man walks up to me and says, 'Hi, I'm Mayor Peña,'" J-Bone recalls. "I said, 'Hey, Feddy, I'm J-Bone! Your Honor, things with bike messengers here in Denver are just not really happening at all, and it's not good.' And then the next day, he sent the police captain to my house to talk about it. I said, 'Shit, boy, it's a good thing I didn't have everything laying out, by golly!'"

Also this: Why do Denver cyclists call it "Foot Down"? That's a frickin' derby, cowboy! And the way we play it around these parts, it's more like "Femur Down."