An Amusement & Diversion for The Genteel Cyclist. Daily.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Jerry Riggs' Bike Blurb-O-Mat #2: THE SECOND COMING!

Heya folks, I'm back to give you the absolute, unimpeachable, uncorruptible God's honest truth about the best gear and culcha. Here at the BOM, we accentuate the positive, we don't truck with the negative, and the LAST PERSON we'd mess with would be Mr. In-Between.



  • The Bianchi Rita. LOVELY RITA, our meter is MADE FOR YOU! It's been a dog's lifetime since Bianchi produced a red bike, and red is the bestest most Italianest color for a bike frame ever, don't you think?! And I haven't even told you the best part yet: Can you say TWENTY NINE-INCH WHEELS? Yes, Bianchi has finally entered the market with a singlespeed 29er, and that's like Jesus coming back along with his buddies Buddha and Mohammed and that other guy too, uh, SHINTO! Somebody catheterize my saliva glands STAT! More about the Bianchi Rita here.




  • Truvativ Noir XC 3.3TEAM+ TNT Crankset. Noir means BLACK and BLACK means HUGE PENIS. Well, in some circles anyway. Naturally, this crankset and chainring combo needs a FUSE, and that FUSE is your HAMMERING PISTONS, your DRAFT-HORSE quads mashing your pedals like they were burning CENTIPEDES in a Sawdust factory. Shimano, can you say KA-BOOM AND KABLOOEY to your domestic after-market XTR sales?! Japan — you've made your BED. NOIR YOU HAVE TO LIE IN IT! More about the Truvative Noir here.


  • Wilderness Trail Bikes Silverado. You know, nothing is the New Black but if anything WAS the New Black, it would be WHITE. OK, so it's supposed to be SILVER, to commemorate 25 YEARS of the planet's finest ass-podiums, but SILVER IS GAY, and I mean gay in a bad way. Anyway, history lesson: Rocket V? Va-rooom to the top of EVERY CYCLIST'S SECRET PARTS list. Everyone knows that the only thing that REALLY MATTERS on a bike is your point of contact, and no point of contact is more important than your POOP SHOOT. So pamper that pooper with this FUTURISTIC, SUPERCALIFRAGILISTIC ALIEN TECHNOLOGY FROM THE FUTURE, built just for YOUR boney caboose. And if this saddle doesn't get you singing Bob Seeger's LIKE A ROCK, nothing will suckah. More about the WTB Silverado here.




  • Next week: BANJO BROTHERS BAGS, 2008 SPECIALIZED STUMPJUMPER, and anything else that lands in my in-box!!

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