An Amusement & Diversion for The Genteel Cyclist. Daily.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Why you should never piss off your bike mechanic. (Or: "Is that smell coming from ME?!")

Overheard at the shop:

So, this out-of-town dude comes into the shop. It's totally busy, fifteen people standing around waiting for service. He pushes his way into the shop and says, "I'm on a cross-country trip and I need my wheel rebuilt, right now!"

I say, "I'm sorry sir, if you could get in line and wait your turn, there are about a dozen people here ahead of you. We'll help you as soon as we can."

And he says, "I don't think you understand. Cross-country bike trip."

I'm thinking I don't care if you're the fucking President of the United States who needs his tires pumped, you gotta wait. But I said, "I understand. But you'll have to wait your turn."

He screams, "CROSS COUNTRY BIKE TRIP!" and throws down his bike.

So I said, "OK, we'll get right on it. You go across the street, have a cup of coffee, we'll get you fixed up in 30 minutes. Straight to the head of the line. Cross-country bike trip!"

He leaves. I wait a few moments and follow across the street, only I go into the deli next door. I hold out my hands and say, "Give me a pound of egg salad."

They look at me like I'm nuts. "Go ahead. Pound of egg salad." So they spoon a bunch into my hands. I run back across the street, take the guy's seat out, and squeeze a bunch of egg salad into the seat-tube, put the seat back in, get it all cleaned up, and true the guy's wheel.

He's back in 30 minutes, pays up, and heads out the door. Not even a "Thank you."

I wonder what he smelled like when he got to Arizona.


Drew said...

That is hilarious... and a very good lesson!

riddenwords said...

One can hope he was in a hurry because he was on the bike trip with his mother-in-law and he'd dropped her on the climb 20 miles out of town...

Mark said...

Awesome. I would have given him a couple slices of bread and told him to hold on to these they might come in handy.

Anonymous said...

That is unfortunate.
However, I actually did the same thing...twice. Not to a customers bike, but my boss's bike at a bike shop. First with a handful of ball bearings in the seatpost, then a pint of egg-drop soup. It was ugly...but funny..then ugly...then funny again.

A Midnight Rider said...

I'm trying to understand why a guy on a three month long bike ride is in a hurry.

lemmiwinks said...

Nice! Prawns/prawn heads (maybe you call them shrimp in the USA?) would have worked even better but if all you have is egg salad... Bravo!

Andy said...

You can also try a hot dog in the seat tube, eventually it gets hot enough and will explode. But the egg salad reminds me of Easter egg hunts, a little stinky nostalgia

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