An Amusement & Diversion for The Genteel Cyclist. Daily.

Friday, May 25, 2007

A new meaning for "track riding" is born

Barney Riis is scheduled to face the press today in Holland. He is expected to explain how he was the only member of Team Telekom to not dope in 1996, the year he won the Tour. [UPDATE: Riis comes clean. Whoa! Will he get to keep the jersey?] In case you're keeping track, we're now looking at the possibility of two former Tour winners being stripped of their results-- and neither of them are Floyd Landis. Sorting out who was doping and who wasn't for the past 10 years is going to be one helluva mess, and the typesetters are getting ready for a whole lot of asterisks to be added to the record books.

Anyway, what caught our attention in the morning papers was this:

Aldag then admitted he even had a tattoo made on his upper arm, to hide the bruises resulting from injections of doping products.

So our question is this: What was THIS guy on?


verlaine said...

They should just establish a seperate league for dopers, and rank people by how many different chemicals they can have in their blood at the end of the race and still finish.

Maybe even have additional points awarded for "creative" doping, like racing while tripping on LSD or PCP or prizes for highest blood alcohol content.

The races could be like alleycats, but instead of stamping a manifest the riders would be required to gulp a handful of "mystery pills" and a beer bong. Bonus points for spectacular wipeouts.

Perhaps after each race they could have an event combining crystal meth, bike derbies and ultimate fighting.

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