An Amusement & Diversion for The Genteel Cyclist. Daily.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Cycling for Positive Results

With all the mountain biking the President does, you'd think it would eventually affect the positive results it does for the rest of us. Um, maybe "positive results" wasn't precisely the turn of phrase I was looking for. But you know what I mean. Clarity of thought. Moral knowledge. The wisdom to look over your shoulder, and hold your breath around the roadkill.

From today's press conference in Crawford, Texas:

Q. I've just got one question. Mr. de Hoop Scheffer, how gezellig was it yesterday?

SECRETARY GENERAL DE HOOP SCHEFFER: It was very gezellig. I'll try to translate "gezellig" in American.

PRESIDENT BUSH: That's not in my vocabulary.

SECRETARY GENERAL DE HOOP SCHEFFER: Very friendly, cozy atmosphere. We had a very, very nice move around the ranch with Mrs. Bush and the President, my wife and I. We had a splendid dinner in the house here at the ranch. This morning, I can tell you that the President and I had a mountain bike ride together. We had our conversations. So you can speak about a very nice weekend, and we had good talks on top of it. So what can one wish more? It was very gezellig.

Here's another great word that should be in the vocabulary of every self-respecting world leader-slash-cyclist: Cuzifit.

Usage: After our ride together, Herr Mr. President, my cuzifit felt gezellig.

Also, please note: Our Prez is a big ring kind of guy. But you knew that already, didn't you?

So far, our results for today are:

President Bush = Big Ring

Paris Hilton = Granny Gear

(Reading people's gearing is like phrenology! You can tell if they are sex addicts, or if they have no idea how to respond to changing trail conditions.)

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