The consequences of French imperialism

Seen in this morning's newspapers:

You'd think this one bike would be under constant surveillance after being stolen so many times! (Ba da boom.)

But seriously, folks. Perhaps this epidemic IS related to the arrival of the Tour De France, which has violated the borders of France to start in London this coming weekend. We suspect race organizers are quietly depopulating the streets, disappearing British bicycles in order to more easily conquer their rivals across the channel.