All spandex, no bike

We got a smattering of applause and at least one hiss when we commented on how President Bush is "all hat and no cattle" when it comes to riding a bike.

Ever vigilant against mixed metaphors and hyperextended similes, we've decided to develop and market a new bike-specific metaphor that applies to certain characters in every circle of cyclists.

And the best part about this is that it comes with a ready-made "scared straight" type of warning video: