Making limeade out of limes

We're on the record as being completely conflicted about Trek's new everyman/everywoman bike, the Lime. We don't want to be snobs on the level of bike messengers, and pretend that everyone who doesn't ride a Ciocc fixie is a poseur and a prick. And any bike that gets people riding and puts a smile on their face is basically a good bike.

Still, everything we hear and read about the Lime makes our teeth hurt and our skin crawl. Like this press release from Volkswagen of Chicago, who inform us that they're giving away Lime bikes and Saris racks with every purchase of a new Rabbit.

The Lime, one of Trek's newest bikes, comes standard with Shimano's coasting technology, incorporating a three-speed automatic transmission that changes gears automatically to make bike riding more enjoyable.

Uh, we weren't aware that shifting was such a drag, such an impediment to cycling. Just so, there's a simpler solution: Don't shift. Better yet, ride a singlespeed.

The Lime is also customizable with "skins," a chain guard grip color decal, which can be switched out to the color of your choice. The Lime's most important features are its environmental friendliness and promotion of a healthy lifestyle.

Those are pretty high-falutin' features for a free bike. So we're sticking with our basic Dynacrap line: A bike that is no fun to ride is crap, for the simple reason that no one will ride it. Power to the people is all fine and good, but there are far more Magnas tied to parking meters with swingset chain than the world needs. Perhaps a few more Ciocc fixies would not be a bad thing.